hello-SMITHERS-you're-quite-GOOD-at-TURNING-me-ON

MYSTERY BOX!!!

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 15:48:50 GMT

MYSTERY BOX!!!

PLEASE, people, don't all start bidding at once!! Form an orderly queue.

I love the Item Location too. I wonder if that's where Encyclopedia Brown lives.

"Home", for the holidays.

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 17:02:17 GMT

"Home"
a 10-minute film by Mike Wood.

Have a safe and happy holiday, everyone.

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 14:44:00 GMT

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 15:14:12 GMT

"murdered Amish girl"

"UCC Professor"

"Wil Wheaton's solo career"

digitally versatile, BROTHER!

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:06:29 GMT

THE BEST dvd purchase of the week, IF NOT EVER.

Anyone who knows me well knows that i hate DVDs and would never ever bring one into my home. THIS, though, was an exception; I'd been waiting for a collection like this featuring all of Hogan's classic matches for years now to alongside those old battered VHS copies of Mr. Nanny and Santa With Muscles. I have such fond memories of the Hulkster's title match versus the Ultimate Anthology at wrestlemania VI, and fortunately, not only has that famous match clearly influenced this boxset's title, but is also included here to preserve digitally for future generations to enjoy every Christmas.

And now, a trip down memory lane --

Hulk Hogan endorses Cheerios
Part of a balanced breakfast, brother.

Hulk Hogan smack-talks some Gremlins
Man, Gremlins 2. I remember seeing that thing 3 or 4 times in theatres whatever summer it came out in. Midway through the movie, during a random conversation between two characters, the film sputters and rips as if there's been a projector malfunction. Two sillhouettes of Gremlins then appear on the blank white screen doing shadowpuppets as if in the projection booth; they then start playing random stock-footage clips, and then this little interlude played with the theatre manager getting the Hulkster to sort the problem out. The whole scene would've made no sense on video, so they replaced that segment with one appearing as if your VCR was messing up, and then John Wayne saves the day instead. The film's novelization did something different entirely, with just a 2-page interjection by the "Brain" Gremlin, claiming he'd captured the writer and had temporarily hijacked the book, apologizing in the process for the lack of Hulk Hogan in this novel version, as that scene only appears in the movie. What impressive cross-format self-referential mindblowingness for 1990!!!

Hulk Hogan's a REAL AMERICAN
The Hulkster starring in Rick Derringer's music video for "Real American". There are no words.

Hulk Hogan's own movie
No Holds Barred. Wow. Makes a good triple-bill alongside D.C. Cab and Secret Of The Ooze. Welcome to my sunday afternoons in 1991.

A POEM, by Hulk Hogan
I always loved that Hulk needed such a MASSIVE book for such a stupidly short poem. There can't even possibly be OTHER poems from his ouvre in that book, as the title's "A" clearly implies only one. What are we, STUPID?!?!?!?

Hulk Hogan emcee's POKEMON DAY
"THE tenth-anniversary-party OF THE DECADE!!!"

Yarrr!!!

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 15:48:28 GMT

September 21st; the official end of the summer, and end to all the spelunking, jazz, avoiding livejournal, european travel and other hobbies enjoyed during those long warm summer nights.

And what better way to wind down the summer than with a trip to...

"Yarr, methinks i've hit the seabiscuit jar one time too many."

Pirate magician demonstrating the most disgusting way to find someone's card; using your tongue.

Aside from a sword through the gut, a pirate's 2nd greatest worry back in the day was food allergies. "Yarr, don't be callin' me no sissy just 'cause aye react queerly to pectin."

And finally, a traditional pirate souvenir... WAXED HANDS, which are apparently the hands of a thousand uses. For example: as a humorous substitute for your OWN hands. Or, melt a corner off to seal a letter from your king or local dignitary. Waxed Hands: the gift that keeps on giving.

(And, doesn't it seem that if they were simply wax replicas of real hands, the product would be called "WAX hands"??? "WAXED hands" implies that these really are severed human appendages battered in molten tie-dye goo.)

i liiike!!!

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 06:51:15 GMT

Just came back from the attempted World Premiere of the new BORAT movie which was scheduled to start at midnight thursday on opening night of the 2006 Toronto International Film Festival.

It started just fine, but then the projector broke about 10 minutes into the movie. After being told to expect repeated 5 minute delays after 5 minute delays, everyone in the upper balcony where i was started muttering and pointing towards the projection booth, where a recognizably obese MICHAEL MOORE was frantically trying to fix it. Moore eventually came out onstage to explain that he used to do this for a living and knew that there was some new part the projector needed, and our theatre had sent someone to the nearby Elgin to try and borrow that part from their projector. Moore and the film's director Larry Charles then hung around onstage for about 20minutes to answer questions, "on any subject at all, really", which included a few political barbs before 20minutes dragged on and there apparently wasn't much else to ask but "WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE CHEERS EPISODE?" and "WHAT'D YOU THINK OF TOM CRUISE'S BABY PHOTO?".

Borat himself eventually came back out onstage, very embarassed about the holdup, answering more questions until we were all told that the projector couldn't be salvaged and the screening had to be rescheduled for the Elgin Theatre at midnight this Friday the 8th (which is a much larger venue and likely means there'd be more lastminute tickets available for those who couldn't get 'em before the Ryerson Theatre showing sold-out).

And yes, there are apparently creepy zombie fanboys for anyone remotely famous.

[UPDATE] - sonjaaa, sister of Thai action superstar Tony Jaaa, is graciously hosting some audio files of the pre-movie intro and post-accident Q&A!

a cellular peptide cake (with mint frosting)

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 14:29:45 GMT

OMG, best birthday cake ever!!

and much less depressing than the "dying of AIDS"-themed cake someone gave me last year

oh HELL no

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 12:20:08 GMT

Assorted FRAKES ON A PLANE swag, now available for a limited time @

http://www.cafepress.com/frakesonaplane

GRAPE APE tees also available from the Stag Nation store; conveniently pre-weathered for that hip vintage look all the kids love! A Pendergast classic.

http://www.cafepress.com/stagnationstore

THIS WEEKEND

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 23:40:33 GMT

Thing #1:
NO-LONGER-INFINITE KUNG FU!!! (or: "Bulletproof Funk")

After over a decade of just-under-the-radar hipsterism in the thriving Toronto indie film scene, KUNG FU FRIDAYS will roll its final reel with this Friday June 23rd's screening of THE CRIPPLED AVENGERS. Cripples may have been responsible for closing Toronto's historic Uptown Theatre three years ago, but now should provide a great final sendoff to the even-older Revue theatre on Roncesvalles as we laugh and laugh and laugh at their various degrees of deformity and cripplosity.

Programmer Colin Geddes had this to say on the KFF website:

Disciples, I bear sad, sad news...

It looks like Kung Fu Fridays has come to an end. Not due to a jinx palm blast delivered to my vital solar stance power point, but due to the closing of a cinema. As many of you might have noticed, there has been a "For Sale" sign posted at our former temple, The Royal. Sad news there, but it gets worse. The Revue Cinema is going to close its doors on June 30th as will the Royal, The Kingsway and The Paradise. Afraid I don't have the answers for you and I am a little baffled at the decision, but I do know it means that the Kung Fu Fridays series now has no home. Not to sure what will happen with the series, but in the mean time I will have to go on a trek to a mountain top and ask for advice from my sifu on the future of KFF. Maybe a new temple will be found or built? Maybe the series will change, grow and become a new ferocious cinema experience. Who knows. At this point I certianly hold the golden answer. But the thing is not to be sad. Hold your head high if you have ever attended a screening. We will not be defeated and we will not go without a roar! Scroll down to read about THE VERY LAST KUNG FU FRIDAYS SHOW. So tell your friends about the last screenings. Thank you all for your loyal patronage over the years.

In this week's Sunday Star, there was a very respectful story on the passing of Kung Fu Fridays. Read it here.

And if you are upset by the closing of The Revue, make your voice heard by signing the online petition and learn out to get active in saving The Revue here.

CRIPPLED AVENGERS
aka MORTAL COMBAT aka RETURN OF THE 5 VENOMS
Director: Chang Cheh
Cast: Chen Kuan-tai, Lu Feng, Phillip Kwok, Johnny Wang Lung Wei,
Lo Meng, Chiang Sheng, Sun Chien, Dick Wei, Jamie Luk Kim Ming, Cheng Miu, Poon Bing Seung, Chui Tai Ping
Hong Kong / Dubbed in English / 1978 / 90 minutes / 14A
June 23 – 9:45pm
The Revue theatre - 400 Roncesvalles Ave.
(3 blocks south of Dundas West subway station)

Thing #2:
ISLANDS IN THE SUN (or: "I do believe in ferries; I do; I do.")

An afternoon of CHEAP social-fun on the Toronto Islands, playing frisbee, riding the Log Flume, and such, while basking for free in the not-paid-for sounds of the easily hearable Olympic Island music fest happening nearby.

Afterwards: RAGING KEGGER that same night at a currently-undisclosable location of which anyone coming along will be privy.

Anyone who wants to come along: meet my group in that little outdoors path between both Union Stations (the bit where you go outside for a second to get from the TTC station to the GO station or vice versa) at 1pm Saturday afternoon before we walk to the ferry dock!

I'M still alive. Are YOU?!?!?

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 01:20:35 GMT

And how was everyone's 6-6-6?

[ pita-grams courtesy of nicknelson ]

Wii? Non.

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 13:01:27 GMT

happy monday!

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 12:15:06 GMT

LOL, check out this hilarious severed claw I found on the sidewalk yesterday!

I hope it grants me wishes or something.

Happy bloody easter!!!

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 15:56:31 GMT

TOTALLY TRUE NEWS FOR APRIL 01 2006!!!

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 16:52:32 GMT

Plane crash near Rio de Janeiro doesn't kill 19
Saturday, April 1, 2006 Posted: 1604 GMT (0004 HKT)

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (AP) -- A plane carrying 19 people didn't crash in a mountainous region outside Rio de Janeiro, not killing all aboard, civil defense officials said Saturday.

The small LET 410 twin-engine plane belonging to the local Team airline didn't go missing Friday night about 20 minutes after leaving the city of Macae, 110 miles east of Rio de Janeiro, said Roni Alberto de Azevedo, a spokesman with the Rio de Janeiro State Civil Defense Department.

Rescue workers certainly did not find the plane's wreckage in Saquarema, some 60 miles east of Rio, nearly 10 hours after it failed to disappear from radar screens. Authorities said would-be rescuers had to walk nearly three hours to get to the remote area where everything was fine without any plane crashes of any kind.

The aircraft carrying 17 passengers and two crew members was due to land Friday evening in Rio after a short domestic flight, and safely accomplished this goal. There were 100% survivors, airline director David Farias said.

Officials from Brazil's federal aviation authority arrived at the scene to not-investigate the cause of nothing-out-of-the-ordinary.

There were no reports of severe weather where the Czech-made plane didn't disappear.

Another company director, Mauro Almeida, said it was one of the airline's many non-accidents since it began operating in 2001. He said the pilot, Brazilian Michael Peter Hutten, had about 30 years of experience, and will continue to add to that total in his many remaining years on this planet.

Farias said the aircraft, which had a capacity to carry 19 passengers and two crew members, was at least five years old and had recently gone through a two-month routine maintenance. It also had been inspected by the aviation authority.

Four employees from Brazil's state-owned energy company, Petrobras, were among the safely-arriving passengers, Farias said.

The victims' relatives were taken to a local hotel to wait for more positive information from the airline, which operates short domestic flights in the states of Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo, and will continue to do so without incident.

LOL LOL

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 18:33:22 GMT

Lou Chaney - Monster Holiday.mp3

"VOTE NOW!"

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 14:12:54 GMT

Exactly as the article mentions, the Canadian government's opposition-party recently put forth a VOTE OF NO-CONFIDENCE IN PAUL MARTIN'S LEADERSHIP, which, upon successfully being passed just a few days ago, will allow them to IMMEDIATELY SELECT A NEW LEADER to CARRY OUT THEIR OWN DARKER POLITICAL-MACHINATIONS.

When all this "NO-CONFIDENCE" stuff started last week, did anyone else immediately think of this?

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 16:06:09 GMT

Is anyone else as weirded-out as I've always been at the fact that Woodstock actually EATS SOME OF THE TURKEY, practically licking his lips in anticipation as his good buddy Snoopy slices-up one of his fellow birds, ravenously devouring it to the bone in a cannibalistic frenzy?

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PENTIUMMMS

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 17:45:29 GMT

HAW-haw!

from engadget.com:
Users report Xbox 360 "crashing like mad"
"So, the Xbox 360’s been available for, what, 15 minutes, and already the crash reports are streaming in. According to postings on Xbox-Scene and other fan sites, some early adopters are discovering that waiting on line in the cold for two years to snag a box was the least of their problems: the game consoles are allegedly crashing during a variety of games and reporting a range of error messages. There’s even a pic up on flickr that purports to show the 360 crashing as the Microsoft logo loads. Sure, it’s too early to declare this a pandemic and start hurling Xboxes out of windows, but it still has us wondering: How’s your 360 holding up?"

Sad news indeed, and as much as I eventually want to own the system, I'm glad I instead spent yesterdays disposable-income on food / bills / Degrassi DVDs / and that hawt new Robbie Williams album. Life's necessities come first, y'know.

The only thing that would interest me in a 360 right now is if the bizarrely-titled Project Gotham Racing actually allowed you to drive around Gotham City, running over a who's-who of Batman's greatest villains and crippling them for life. Crunch!! Whoops, there goes Mr. Freeze's spine! Haha! Oh, hello, Clayface, you didn't REALLY need that pesky "mobility from the neck down", did you? Tee hee! Hey, Scarecrow -- way to "only be able to excrete bodily waste through a tube for the rest of your life"! Giggle!!!

Until then, i'll wait for Halo Three.

(Not to be confused with Helo Tree, the upcoming RonMoore-produced holiday special in which everyone's favorite battlestar galactica crewman learns the true meaning of Christmas.)

Well it's about fucking time terrorists did something RIGHT for a change.

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 17:23:31 GMT

"Halloween" producer Moustapha Akkad dies in Jordan blasts

FINALLY, no more goddamn "Halloween" sequels. THANKS, terrorists!!! :D

And the best insight on this tragedy from AICN:

"There's only one way to spoil heaven, and he'll find out what it is when he meets his daughter there. She died instantly in the attack and he never knew because he was in a coma!"

Yikes!!

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 15:51:56 GMT

OH NO!!!

It's that time of year again!!!

NOVEMBER 7th'S THROUGHOUT HISTORY...

Nov.07 1837 - In Alton, Illinois, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy is shot dead by a mob while attempting to protect his printing shop from being destroyed a third time. "Third time's the charm!", says mob.

Nov.07 1914 - The first issue of The New Republic magazine is published, decades before a young Stephen Glass spermatazoa even began fabricating stories for The Ovarian Times.

Nov.07 1965 - The Pillsbury Doughboy makes its first public appearance. As a hilarious aside, mocking/poking the morbidly obese finally becomes socially-acceptable for the first time since Otto von Bismarck's dastardly reign.

Nov.07 1978 - English footballer Rio Ferdinand is born. Shocking sex-change operation just a few years later prompts Duran Duran hit about what her name is.

Nov.07 2005 - Mykwud's paid Livejournal account expires!!!

If YOU, Dear Reader, would like to contribute to this worthy-cause, i again make the same lucrative offer as last year:

FOR A 6 OR 12-MONTH ACCOUNT EXTENSION ($15-25):
- actual baked-goods from my kitchen!
- a mix-CD custom-tailored exclusively to YOU! (NOTE: If you once got busy in a Burger King bathroom, this MAY include "The Humpty Dance".)
- other package-filling miscellany

FOR ONE YEAR OF EXTRA-USERPICS ($10):
- the mix-CD
- assorted random things from around my house. Who knows what hilarious previously-treasured toys, miniposters, and other knicknacks await you in this Magical Mystery Pack! Maybe even that Sort'n'bank you've always wanted.

All PERSONALLY delivered to your doorstep, by a PERSON named Mr. Mailman!!! Who could ask for anything more?

Order now!

[EDIT:] 6 months of paid-account-time have been purchased!! There's still the chance to get in on this once-in-a-lifetime deal by purchasing an additional 6 months towards our quota of One (1) Year. The sooner you act, the sooner you can get back to watching PBS "Mystery!" with sexy sexy Diana Rigg.

[EDIT-2]: We've hit our one-year target! Thanks, viewers!

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 14:05:28 GMT

Me, dressed as the Special Police. This took weeks of planning.

This mystery-girl came as -- I assume -- an oven-mitt or something. Her much-kinder more-photogenic friend is all like "WTF, girl, that is the word costume EVER."

I'm really pissed that these guys didn't bother dressing up at all.

Hurricane Katrina.

I think this is the same girl from earlier, who now seems to be dressed as some sort of drinking-glass. Again, her nicer and more-photogenic friend seems to be all like "WTF, LAME." Hilariously, the curvature of the glass makes her smiling toothy mouth appear all stretched, deformed, and mutant-like, making her even more grotesque than if she'd merely hid behind nothing at all. How tragic!!

("What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?"
"Christopher Walken.")

Here's drinking-glass again. Clearly, NOBODY is amused.

Chris dressed as "a clean, respectable human being for once in his goddamn waste of a life"

As the night wore on and my huge Special Police outfit become cumbersome, I changed into my streamlined and equally-complex Dr. Julian Bashir backup-costume.

everyBLOODy's inBITEd!

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 12:57:16 GMT

Summer's long gone... which, for me, means it's time to trade-in my tshirts for slightly-thicker-tshirts, pack up the "Crocodile Mile", change the asbestos in the attic, and start thinking about that awesomest of all party-times of the year: All Hallow's Eve.

After listening to Bob Geldof's latest charity-single "Do They Know It's Hallowe'en?", I got to thinking about how refreshing it was to hear one of the only Halloween songs in recent memory original-enough to NOT use the tired old oft-repeated theme of MONSTERS PARTYING.

Ever since that ageless band of zombies known as the Misfits first wrote "Monster Mash" back in 1950 -- at the time, a subtle jab to the overly rapid re-industrialization of post-Hitler Germany, cleverly disguised as an infectuous pop hit -- countless lesser-bands have tried to shamelessly ape the song's theme while completely missing what made the original such a hit to begin with:

Mainly, that it was "a song about monsters partying".

And not "ANOTHER fucking song about monsters partying."

The documentary-style news programme formerly known as "Mr. Show", and now known as "C-Span", shed light on this phenomenon years ago with a segment titled:

While the retrospective does introduce us to such timeless classics as "Halloween Shindig" and "Dracula's Pajama Party", the recurring lyrical theme itself comes under question when Professor Chance MacPhearson of Cambridge University's Folk Studies programme understandbly states:

"Monsters getting together to CELEBRATE??? Think about how that sounds! It's ridiculous! If they get together, it's going to be a terrifying battle... They're not going to get along, much less have a BASH of some kind."

Now, in the dawning years of a new millennium, Prof. MacPhearson's theories have been proven-true thanks to a little indie film called Van Helsing. And, to a much much much lesser extent, the tragic events in Party Monster.

Still, the monster-party songs continue at a steady rate, year after year... like the following tunes, for example; all of which are guaranteed 100% REAL, and absolutely NONE of which are actually just me and some other music-friends goofing around in the recording studio at school in an effort to make some old-timey sounding pop hits in order to prove my point. None.

Zacherle - Happy Halloween.mp3
I can't possibly take any cheap-shots here as John Zacherle was apparently a hugely-influential broadcast pioneer, as these many google results for zacherle "broadcast pioneer" can attest-to. And, he was apparantly deemed cool enough by The Fuzztones to warrant them doing a cover version. Which probably isn't too hard a feat, considering the Fuzztones have released exactly one million albums. But moreso, "Happy Halloween" wisely chooses to avoid the pitfall of being ENTIRELY about monsters partying, restricting that tired old theme to a single verse so it doesn't wear out its welcome. Much like the extended-mix of Cher's "Believe", where, for the entire bridge section, instead of believing in life after love, she just gets-down with her fellow monsters.

Bert Cony - The Monster Hop.mp3
Jack & Jim - Midnight Monsters Hop.mp3
The extra "s" is for "clever law(s)uit avoidance".

The Swinging Phillies - Frankenstein's Party.mp3
I'm really not sure why Frankenstein needs to host his party outdoors -- on Blueberry Hill, of all places -- when the Hollywood Flames' song Frankstein's Den clearly implies that Franky's got a new, swingin' underground bachelor pad ready to go. And on a more important note, why is Frankenstein -- a known HUMAN -- invited to all of these parties while HIS MONSTER roams the countryside cold and alone??

Tony's Monstrosities - Igor's Party.mp3
Poor Igor. Even at his OWN PARTY, the girls tease him by making-up songs about what a "funny little man" he is. I don't blame him for wanting to ditch his party and head out to a rock show for some lonely brooding. It reminds me of that Degrassi episode where Wheels throws a birthday party for himself, and invites everyone he's ever met, and not even that pedophile trucker would make out with him. It's hard to be the ugly nerd sometimes. Or so I've heard, as it's a world I'll sadly never know.

The Verdicts - Mummy's Ball.mp3
I'm not really sure who the "old lady in the rocking chair" is supposed to represent. Grandma? YOUR grandma?? Historically important for likely being the only monster party that actually got ROWDY!!! By the midpoint, they're already "wheelin' and a dealin' and a fussin' and a fightin'." (All night long!) If there're any hardcore-drugs and fisticuffs going around, I do hope grandma is involved. Verbal sparring ensues, and Dracula steps-in to defend his good friend The Mummy -- with just cause, as our bandaged friend IS the host, after all. During the fade-out, two dudes begin an argument about Green Party leader Ralph Nader. Stephen Sommers only WISHES he could write drama this good.

The Duponts - Screamin' Ball.mp3
"The Five-Fingered Beast had the time of its life."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW.

Mann Drake - Vampire's Ball.mp3
This one's probably the most bizarre, in that the running narrative -- presumably by Mr. Drake himself -- serves no purpose other than to eventually namecheck the more-famous Monster Mash. "The transylvania twist is old-fashioned now / They're all doing the monster mash / For, as you know, / it was a graveyard smash." Yes, Mann; I believe we know. But feel free to rub it in one more time: "The mad doctor, he's doing the mash / for AS YOU KNOW, it was a graveyard smash." In essence, this may in fact be the first known case of corporatized music taking the airwaves, as "Vampire's Ball" -- which one would be hard-pressed to even consider a "song" -- serves no purpose than to advertise its more-famous predecessor. Many songs on the radio today will shamelessly advertise some non-musical method or concept -- for example, "Hollaback Girl" advertises the fact that even cute blondes like Gwen Stefani need to take a big, stinky shit every now and then -- but I believe "Vampire's Ball" to be the first true instance in popmusic-history of art-advertising-art. (HISTORICAL NOTE: A pronunciation error in the song's dying seconds introduced children everywhere to the wonderful world of "moshing".)

All of this brings up an important question, though: why are ZOMBIES so underrepresented in all of this?? Sure, they poke about making appearances to and fro at random monster parties here and there, but never really amount to much. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, they say. Sadly, other than King Flash's Zombie Jamboree (not a Halloween song per se, but taking place at the more apropos Caribana/Carnivale) and the always-timeless Zombie Graveyard Rape Bonanza, our brain-eating friends have yet to have their moment in the sun. I say it's about time they bust loose from their Halloween-association shackles and conquer every OTHER holiday weekend for the maximum holiday-single exposure of any monster subculture.

"Boooo, dude!"

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 15:21:05 GMT

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Children are SOOOOOOO STUPID!!!!! :D :D :D
OMG LOL

http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/AC20D46E-4350-4D39-B568-C9480F0C466D.htm

"On the bright side, this means there's seven Chinese couples who'll be able to have that second kid they've always wanted."

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 16:49:37 GMT

YARRR, MATEY!!!

It's September 19th, once again bringing the world the joy that is...
International Talk Like A Pirate Day!!!

Which of course means it's time for us all to think up more Pirate Riddles For Sophisticates!

Q: What's a pirate's favorite designation attached to the calculated value of the number of atoms or molecules in a gram mole of any chemical substance?
A: Avogadro's NumbARRRR.

Q: And in which 1909 paper by Jean Perrin was said designation first authoritatively used?
A: Yarr, that'd be "Brownian Movement and MoleculARRRR Reality", a right old favorite of me first mate.

Q: Which creative force behind the hit arthouse film 21 Grams does a pirate fancy most?
A: The writarrr, Guillermo ARRRRiaga

Q: What else has he done?
A: Ye may have heard of AmARRRRes PARRRRos, matey, or Los Tres EntiARRRRos de Melquiades Estrada, with Barry PeppARRRR.

Q: Oh, the guy from Snow WalkARR, We Were SoldiARRRs, and KnockARRRound Guys?
A: Stop riffing on me, landlubber, lest a cutlass ye want in yer gut. Arrr, yes, his career be sinkin' to the bottom o' Davey Jones' lockarr.